#ForgivingYourself

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Forgiveness, can you imagine?” 

The quote above is from “Hamilton: the Musical.” Alexander’s young son just died and his wife discovers his affair with her sister. He sings about his guilt, unable to forgive himself for the mistakes he made. “It’s Quiet Uptown” is on constant rotation on my Spotify playlist. You listen to that song twenty times a day and can’t help but think about forgiveness. How we forgive others. How we forgive ourselves.

For most of my life, it has been easy for me to forgive others. However, when it comes to myself, I hold on to past mistakes long after they occurred. Poor financial choices I made in my twenties. Not taking certain key opportunities. For burning bridges and acting inappropriately in certain relationships. Not focusing on my health- especially my teeth and my anxiety.

To forgive ourselves is to accept responsibility for our actions both compassionately and seriously. Forgiveness is a process, one that doesn’t happen overnight. When we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can’t undo the past- the past is DONE- we open ourselves up to more acceptance. It’s now time to turn the page and accept those events as part of your story. They’ve all contributed to making you who you are. Perhaps we can find a silver lining in each mistake, a learning lesson. Yes, it doesn’t excuse you from being an asshole but when you’re constantly living in the past as I do, forgiveness can lighten your mental load.

Forgiveness is about mental toughness and emotional fortitude. To wrap it up in one simple word, it’s about kindness. We are our own toughest critic. I beat myself up all of the time for every single mistake and poor choice I’ve made. I beat myself up all of the time for being human. Humans are not perfect even though in my head, I think that we are. I think that I should be. I give myself impossibly high standards and expectations. But even the incredibly stupid acts are part of being human. Life is a series of mistakes. We go from one to the next, learning, shaping, and molding us along the way.

Forgiveness- it is imaginable. It does happen.

How have you forgiven yourself, dear reader?

#DACA

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Earlier today, President Trump announced his plan to end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program that allows for thousands of young undocumented immigrants to remain in the country.

DACA was formed through an executive order by President Obama back in 2012. It allows certain people (the Dreamers) who came to the United States illegally as minors to be protected from immediate deportation. Recipients are able to request “consideration of deferred action” for a period of two years (which is then subject to renewal). Congress now has up to six months to find a legislative alternative after it was announced that new applications will no longer be accepted.  For those currently in the program, their legal status and other DACA related permits (i.e. work permits) will begin expiring in March 2018.

Dreamers are able to request DACA status if 1) they were under the age of 31 on June 15, 2012; 2) they came to the State before turning sixteen; and 3) have continuously lived in the country since 2007. Dreamers must also have a high school diploma or their GED, been honorably discharged from the military or still be in school.

There are an estimated 800,000 Dreamers in the United States. Most Dreamers are from Mexico, El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras; with the largest numbers living in California, Texas, Florida and New York. They currently range in age from 15 to 36 years of age, according to the White House.

With this new executive order, Dreamers will all lose their status by March 2020. As their statuses lapse, they could be deported and sent back to countries of birth many have no familiarity with. Trump has referred to DACA as “illegal amnesty,” arguing that those in the country illegally are lawbreakers who hurt native Americans by taking their jobs and increasing crime.

We know better.

Dreamers are our friends and loved ones. They are leaders in our communities. They work hard. They’re good people. They deserve to be here- after all, that’s what their parents wanted for them. A better life- and Dreamers deserve to live such lives here in the United States.

I encourage you, dear reader, to contact your senator and demand that they fight for Dreamers. On the local level, discover if your city is a Safe Haven for Dreamers and find ways to help (hit the streets and start volunteering!). Together, we stand with DACA and will show the world that we are a nation who comes together instead of being forced apart.