Back in the Dating Pool

As one is in the process of moving on from a past relationship, I am a firm believer in the power of dating. Sometimes, it’s what we need the most. We need to do something different, meet someone new, get out of our comfort zone for a brief moment. As I mentioned in my previous 20Something post, I like dating. But what that said, I love being in a relationship. One has to date to find his/her one true love (or your parents can set you up in an arranged marriage. Either or would work). So now, I figure that it’s time to throw on the teeny weeny bikini and hop back into the dating pool.

Okay, dear reader, I know what you’re thinking- you just got out of something. Why get back into the water so soon? Truthfully, I don’t know. There are many reasons behind it- I’m trying to get my mind off my ex. I want to make more friends.  But mostly importantly, I’m a great girl. I deserve to have someone fabulous in my life. So, I reactivated my OKCupid profile and let the messages come rolling in, hoping for someone incredibly special to catch my eye. Instead, I got this: “Hey. how are u?” Major turn-off, especially for someone who wrote on her profile that she writes for a living and is obsessed with vocabulary and proper grammar. I received a couple of messages from people specifically looking for a one night stand and a particular gross comment about the shape of my body. I read some messages from nice guys that eventually turned sour: “You seem like the smart-type,” one wrote. Seriously? Is there such thing as the “stupid-type?”

I spent a good chunk of last night thinking about love and being in a relationship- if I wanted to be in one at the moment. What kind of relationship I want to be in? Why do we put so much value in them? Am I really that desperate to get married and adopt an entire Ethiopian orphanage? Do I just feel alone? Am I lonely? I actually have been seeing this great guy for the past few weeks. He’s a sweetheart who has agreed to take things slow (which I much appreciate). Oh, he’s also polyamorous (polyamory is when a couple agreeing to date other people while they are still with each other). I’ve always been intrigued by the concept- I’ve dated a bunch of people at the same time before but never had two (or more) boyfriends at once. Would I even like it? What about jealousy? Do I really need to be with two people right now let alone one? When will I fall in love again?

As I try to figure all this out, I do know one thing. At 1 a.m. this morning, I deleted my OKCupid profile- and this time, I deleted it permanently. My mom used to sing that old Johnny Lee song to me growing up, “Looking for love in all the wrong place.” Those are lyrics that hold a lot of truth. I decided it’s best to let something happen organically, instead of trying to force romance with a date I met online just an hour ago. For now, potential suitors, if you was to ask me out, you can find me among the media law stacks at the UNR Knowledge Center. You can pique my interest by talking to me about bicycles and cheese.

And you, the future love of my life… Wherever you are, I know that someday I will find you. Until then…

Yes said it, Carrie.

You said it, Carrie.


One thought on “Back in the Dating Pool

  1. Interesting timing. I’m polyamorous and just broke up with my girlfriend a week ago (I still have my wife) and I’ve chosen to deal with it by looking for a new person to date right away. My initial thought was to wait awhile (I have my very supportive wife, after all), but I think getting back out there and having fun is the best way to get over the breakup.

    It seems that I love being in relationships too; just more than one at a time

    Liked by 1 person

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