I have blogs that I read religiously. From Krystal Bick’s online look book, This Time Tomorrow, to Nerve.com’s sexual musings, I spend most nights on my laptop, eating up the author’s words. MakeItMAD is one of those blogs I’m always hungry for. It is manned by the thoughtful and talented, Max Dubsinky. I highly recommend MakeItMAD to everyone, including his lists on how to be a gentleman. The man knows his stuff, especially on how to grateful and charming during the holiday season. I posted his list of a gentleman’s guide to the holidays below, adding my thoughts to the mix (because you and I both know that kissing under the mistletoe is a holiday must)…
I’m finding it harder to be a gentleman today. Every time I hold the door open, I’m afraid she doesn’t know the gentleman still exists. I could throw my jacket in the mud for a woman, and I don’t think it would ever make her day. Now the holidays are fast approaching, and I’m wondering if today’s woman needs or even wants an arm to hold going down those icy stairs in her heels. Are we still kissing under mistletoe? And when is it appropriate to wear an ugly Christmas sweater? Never, that’s when. We can do all our Christmas shopping from home so we’re certainly not helping any old ladies carry their bags to the car anymore. Are we attending candlelight church services out of habit or out of guilt? And “It’s A Wonderful Life” will forever be a classic, but if I have to choose between that and watching John McClane trapped at the top of a skyscraper on Christmas Eve killing terrorists, well, I’m locked and loaded.
… Here’s your guide to the holidays.
- Welcome to the digital age. Avoid the over-crowded malls and shopping centers this year, and loosen up the gridlock by keeping your car in the garage. There’s enough snow and teenagers texting and driving on the road today to cause a seven-car-pile-up at every major intersection. A gentleman can get all his shopping done in just a few clicks at Amazon, Target and Best Buy without losing a moment of sleep. (Andrea’s note: Although I agree with Max, I stress to everyone the importance of shopping local. Purchasing locally-made goodies from local shops helps create jobs and lets your money stay in your community. If your town is lacking that buy local movement, check out Esty.com, where vendors sell their handmade good for reasonable prices.)
- Spike the eggnog. Leave the punch to the kids. (Andrea’s note: I’ve never been a fan of the nog. Instead, I drink a hot toddy- whiskey or brandy mixed with hot water- or put some peppermint Schnapps into a cup of hot chocolate.)
- Telling anyone under the age of nine that Santa Clause doesn’t exist is never a gentlemanly thing to do. Leave this world-wrecking task up to those fourth grade punk-asses on the back of the bus.
- A kiss on the cheek beneath mistletoe in the doorway is always appropriate.
Go for that kiss!
- Holding mistletoe over your head at the office holiday party is not only entirely inappropriate, it’s also borderline desperate, and the only thing you’ll be getting under your tree this year is a restraining order. ‘Tis the season.
- Kissing your boss’s wife on the cheek when the mistletoe is across the room is frowned upon. Kissing the wives of your brothers, fathers, or friends is never appropriate no matter what time of the year it is, or where the mistletoe is located.
- It’s still protocol to kiss for luck at midnight. So sweep the single woman next to you off her feet on New Years Eve. Kiss her at midnight whether she’s your best friend or a perfect stranger. (Andrea’s note: I am a firm supporter of this, all you single men and women out there. I know of relationships that stemmed out of a simple New Year’s kiss. Those types of kisses are magically and one-in-a-million).
- A gentleman never expects to receive.
- Give. Give extravagantly.
- Buy a Christmas gift for the person in your life who you believe would least expect a present from you. Someone recently did this for me, and the gesture was simple: a pack of fine-point black pens, which no writer should ever be without. I was elated. I lose pens faster than a seven-year-old loses teeth. The gift made my day. I never expected it. And I look forward to passing that feeling on to someone else.
- Unless it’s for Starbucks, gift cards are old news. It’s time to get personal, again. (Andrea’s note: Starbucks or coffee, in general. Support your local coffee houses and tea shops.)
- Hand-write the messages on your annual Christmas cards this year. (Andrea’s note: I’m a big fan of Christmas cards. I wish that I could buy all my friends gifts but if I did so, I’d grow broke. Christmas cards make up for that. It’s a treat to receive in the mail and inside each card, I can let everyone know how much they mean to me.)
- At least one of the following holiday movies should be on every gentleman’s Netflix list: “Elf,” “Gremlins,” “Scrooged” and/or “Die Hard” because nothing says Merry Christmas like Yippie-Ki-Ya Mother Fu—. (Andrea’s note: Add “Love Actually” to that list. The movie is good anytime of the year but it is always playing in my DVD player during December.)
Yes, guys- scarves are a plus. Hello, nurse!
- Professional fashion consultant and close friend of mine, Jason Walker says, “Men need to take more risks with accessories this holiday season: scarves and hats are in, and rings are not just for married men anymore.” (Andrea’s note: Winter is my favorite time of year simply for this reason. Men, you look amazing in heavy trench coats and a pair of lace-up dress boots. Add a scarf this the mix- and now you know why I’m desperate to move back to New York City- the men there wear terrific pieces in the wintertime. I know that I’m not the only girl who feels this way.)
- I miss the days of Christmas Carols. The only Fa-la-la-la-la-ing we seem to be doing these days is in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to take those Christmas songs back to the streets with your close friends or family.
- A gentleman stands up for what he believes. Ditch the Happy Holidays. Wish someone a Merry Christmas.
- Socks are never a bad gift. Give those with a pair of TOMS (an organization which donates a pair of shoes to children in third world countries with every pair purchased).
- Even if you don’t believe in that little eight-pound guy in the manger who saved all mankind, a gentleman should consider a Christmas Eve church service because you might just find the true meaning of Christmas has been inside you all along. Did you know they have electric guitars in church now?
- A gentleman (and a lady) starts his/her own traditions.
- My father often writes letters to us, or his grandson, Jack, recapping the year full of painfully hilarious truths that have us laughing well into the night. Over the last three years I hear my status within those letters hasn’t been updated: “Your Uncle Max is still in Hollywood, broke, and starving, but he remains a gentleman about it.”
Merry Christmas. (Stay warm, dear reader.)
You can read more of Max Dubinsky’s work at MakeItMAD.
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