Honestly, if there’s anything to learn from the popularity of the ‘Twilight’ book series, it’s that chivalry still semi-matters. I grew up with an older sister who bestowed this wisdom upon me when I was 12. She said, “Mat, you’re a nice kid. Please don’t become an asshole like everyone else. Be original.” It took me too long to realize how right she was.
It’s essential to make a differentiation though. If your mission is simply to con insecure stripper lunatics into fucking you once, then I recommend visiting a speed seduction forum and renting ‘Roger Dodger.’ If, however, your pursuits are more noble, and you want to woo the ONE girl in the whole school that matters, the ‘pearl before swine’ as they say, then maybe try rising above the swine. Develop your taste for great music and books. Be naturally confident and most of all, interesting. Don’t be a puss, but be a good person and be thoughtful. In the process you may discover that your entire class is chasing a mirage, while the truly deep girls of substance are off the radar.
I used to have this bright red cardinal that hung out alone in the tree outside my apartment. I often wondered, in a city full of dull, average, forgettable birds, how will this unique one ever find another? The answer and the metaphor I think is: just be who you are. It didn’t seem to mind being alone, just ate the bugs it liked, hung out in the trees it liked, flew around and did whatever made it happy. A month later, another cardinal showed up, and the rest is history. They’re probably still banging right now.
Once you have your priorities straight, then be brave. Goethe said, “Seize this very minute; what you can do, or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” And Basil King said, “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.”
In my high school, the most gorgeous, intimidating girl ended up dating a seemingly average transfer student doofus named Florian. Why? Because he was French Canadian and didn’t give a fuck. He just went over to her house uninvited one night and put the mack on. No one else had the courage.
Oh also: to the aspiring gentlemen suitors out there, it doesn’t hurt to do your homework. Subscribe to Esquire,
learn to smoke, buy some Burberry cologne, and vitally: master both the piano and a foreign language. Get wise. Think long term. While your future date-raping classmates are choking on beer bongs, you could be expanding your skill set. Oh, and I almost forgot: learn how to kiss. Most guys suck at it.”
-Mat Devine (Broadway actor, author, vox of the Chicago band, Kill Hannah)