I’m writing to you with tears in my eyes on a broken computer that I’m too poor to replace. You have been incredibly rough on me. I’m sure in some way I deserve it in some way. I wasn’t the nicest person this year. Maybe that’s why Santa Claus held out on me this time around, as well. Things were hard, not just to me. The economy is still crappy with unemployment at 9%. The president who I voted for isn’t doing the best job (and I do regret voting for him). There is still war and hunger and no seems to give a damn about that.
But at the same time, you given me so much happiness. I remember riding my bicycle home in the middle of a cold January night. The moon reflected off the snow, making the ice crystals dance. I listened to Iron and Wine on my iPod as I peddled, thinking it is was strange that there weren’t any cars on the road. I felt serene right at that moment. Cold, very cold, but serene.
Don’t get me wrong, 2011. There were plenty of other awesome times, as well. My Friday movie nights with ‘Death.’ Laughs and great conversations with my landlord, roommates, co-workers. (I hope that those balls dropped for you, E-beth.) Surfing and beach days in the blistering hot summer heat at the Rockaways. New tattoos. And man, oh man- plenty of interesting and memorable first (and second!) dates. In May, I crossed off an item on my bucket list and moved to New York City. After saving for months, I just did and it felt good. But then I couldn’t find a job (let alone, keep one) and my former roommates conned me out of rent money. I learned just how tough this city really is. But somehow, even with all the crying fits and calls home to loved ones, I kept calm and carried on. This is what I will continue to do. New York forces me to think about quitting and giving up all the time but my dreams are far too big to let me do so. They continue fight back those doubts and objections with swords and clubs. I may be a shy and insecure college dropout but I am determined to make something of myself. So watch out, 2012- I’m going to try to be better than myself. The best little Andrea I could be.
I know it’s silly to reinvent yourself of New Year’s Day (you know, any day could be the first new day of the rest of your life) but there are too many things I need to change and I left to change upon the new year. I know that I’m not living the best life. I need to start challenging myself. So, starting in 2012, I will be better about paying my bills, especially my student loans. Everything just needs to get placed in a plan. Yup, a plan.
I came here to New York to write. I have been forgetting that reason lately and I need to do something about that. I don’t know what but I know that my work deserves to be read by millions sets of eyes. I will push myself to the point of exhaustion. After all, you don’t get to pitch to the editors of “Vanity Fair” by just giving them a sweet smile.
I promise to you (and to my mom) that I will not be spending anymore holidays alone, including silly ones like Saint Patrick’s Day, (hint hint ’Carol.’) It took me a while but I’m starting to figure out how important my family -especially- and my true friends really are in my life.
“New York Magazine” puts out a yearly list of the 40 things it loves about our metropolis. I can only think about four I love about NYC (and one includes an ex-boyfriend, which really doesn’t count). I live in the most amazing city in the world and I’ve only seen 1/8 of it. That needs to change. Next year will be filled with more exploration as I walk, talk and eat around my city. Chow down on more pizza. Splurge on Broadway tickets. Send out more cheesy postcards. Take more pictures. Get out your apartment and away from that computer. Life is either a daring adventure or it’s nothing.
And buy that MacBook!
2011 was filled with trials and tribulations. I will take this lessons I learned to heart with this upcoming year and I apply to the future greatness I will be living. The only thing I can wish for is that your predecessor will be a thousand times better. And it will be. I promise to be a better, smartest, stronger and kinder woman. I’m learning that the life that I want takes work. Hard work. Nothing comes easy, even things like success and love. But I will work hard. I need to and I realize that I have to in order to be happy.
So, here’s to a happy and better 2012 (and please, I have no desire to die. If you can prevent the world from ending, I’d greatly appreciate it).
Thanks for the memories, 2011, and all of the Ryan Gosling movies.